Interview 27

CFD has asked Barbara LesStrang to author a series of monthly articles about "aftercare". In this and subsequent issues, we'll bring you information from interviews with funeral directors from all over the world, who are now serving their communities with aftercare programs.  Last  month we interviewed a funeral director from Bancroft, Ontario.  Let's take a look at what others have to say. 

John Head is a native of Idaho. He earned his B.S. from Boise State University and holds an associate degree in Funeral Service Education from Mt. Hood College, Gresham, Oregon. John has over twenty years of experience in funeral service. He is Trustee and past district president of the Idaho Funeral Service Association, Idaho State Association second vice-president; past state association trustee and past district president.  His community service includes past president of Twin Falls Optimist Club.  Currently he serves on the board of the Magic Valley Regional Medical Center Foundation.  John and his wife, Lori, have two children, Alex and Lacey. They make their home in Twin Falls. Reynolds Funeral Chapel was established in 1933 by James C. Reynolds.  In 1959 he and his son, Paul, built a new funeral home with a 300 seat chapel and expansive parking, thus moving away from downtown to its present location east of the city and nearer the two local cemeteries.  James Reynolds died in 1986. Paul Reynolds operated the business for ten years until its acquisition by The Loewen Group in 1996.  John Head has been associated with the Reynolds family since 1990 and was named location manager in 1996. 

John, do you feel bereaved families are getting the help they need from friends, family or organizations?

Head: No they aren't.  Social structures are changing and today's hectic life styles leave no time for the traditional associations of our fathers or grandfathers era.  Most of us are busy with the lives of our own children and grandchildren and their activities. Retirees are traveling and busy with their activities.  So, the bereaved are left with a few family members or close friends who in most cases, do not know what to say or do to provide any real comfort. We have sponsored bereavement seminars with nationally recognized professionals in the past, but even with diligent publicity, letters, and personal phone calls to our families, the attendance was not what we hoped for.  We have found that people are often reluctant, or at least passive about going somewhere to help themselves with the pain of their loss.  However, our AfterLoss material which is being sent to the homes of our newly bereaved families, where they can learn about the grief process in the comfort and security of their homes, is greatly appreciated and well received.

Based on your experience, how would you describe the major needs of newly bereaved people?

Head: They need to have their pain and their feelings validated. To know that what they are experiencing is normal.  In the first few weeks following the loss of a loved one the one thing I hear the most from widows or widowers is how overwhelmed they were by the number of people who called or were there to help at first.  But the flip side is coping with the quiet and loneliness that descends very soon after the funeral.  Many feel a need to 'keep busy' so their minds can get a rest from the pain of the loss.  This is when our Aftercare support begins.

Did you have any initial reluctance about beginning an Aftercare program?   

Head: None. Once we found the program that worked for us we couldn't wait to get started.

Does having an Aftercare program make you feel differently about your funeral service? 

Head: Our program reinforces to our staff, to our families and to our community the quality of funeral service we provide.  Our families know we are caring for them in every way possible after the funeral is over.  This is a good feeling to have.

John, tell us a little more about your program.

Head: It's very simple.  Each month we send a list to our Aftercare provider with the names of the families we have served the previous month. These families will receive an introductory letter and a copy of the monthly HelpLetters. We provide a six month subscription.  We then contact our families after about sixty days to see if they are reading the material and if they would like to continue to receive it for the full six month period.  We again contact these families after the six month subscription period has ended to see if they would like to receive it longer. This gives us a chance to keep in touch with our families and be there as a resource for any additional care or help we may be able to offer.  We have also incorporated a Grief Recovery 'Question and Answer' weekly newspaper advertising program to help promote the Aftercare program in our community. We use this series periodically through the year and we always receive several calls with comments about the column.  We like the format of giving some helpful information to the public in our advertising and the Q & A program fits nicely into our philosophy.

Do you use special staff to facilitate your program?

Head: No, we need no additional staff. The administration of getting the publication into the homes of our families does not take my staff away from other duties in the funeral home.  Our office manager and service arrangers make a list of surviving family members we served the past month. With our computer this process only takes a few minutes. Our arrangers follow up with phone calls also generated from our computer. We submit this list to our Aftercare provider.  The simplicity of just adding new families each month and the automatic terms of the subscriptions really appealed to us.  We just fax the names each month and our provider does the rest.  Following the six month subscription we call our families to see if they would like to continue to receive the HelpLetters for the remaining six months.  We also ask if they need any other assistance.  We also have a Holiday memorial service in our chapel between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  This service is sponsored in part by a local bereavement organization who helps organize and detail the program for this service. Keeping in touch with our families is a priority and the material is a great way to keep a positive service related conduit open to them.

What kind of response have you had from your families?

Head: An evaluation response card sent to our families by our Aftercare provider comes back to the funeral home. This has become a great way to learn how our program is really working .  We hear nothing but appreciation from the families we talk to in follow-up calls.  Still, it's nice to see those responses in writing!

Do you feel that your Aftercare program has enhanced your funeral home image?

Head: Our program has definitely helped elevate the professional and compassionate image of our funeral home and our staff.  We have continued this program because of the positive results. It is a solid helpful resource that our families deserve.

Have you found a way to help educate the clergy in the important area of grief recovery? 

Head: When we started the program we contacted all of the clergy in our community and explained our program.  We gave them a personalized clergy portfolio  with the first six issues of the HelpLetters and then added their names to our mailing list to receive the next six issues.  Many of our local clergy had not received any formal training in the area of grief and loss although they are the ones called upon to be there 'with the right answers' and to provide comfort to surviving members of a family.  So we are held out as heroes to many of our clergy because the material we provided is such a valuable tool for them. Our Aftercare outreach has been a great tool  and is very much appreciated -- not to mention a good way to promote professional relationships with the clergy.

Have you received any local media coverage with your program?

Head: When we established our Aftercare program in 1991 we received an excellent press release to announce our program in the local newspaper.  The article was a fantastic kick off for the program. After it appeared in our paper a number of people come to the funeral home to pick up copies of our material.  Others phoned requesting we mail copies to them.

What suggestions would you give to directors in other parts of the world who have yet to provide Aftercare?

Head: Any funeral home that is not providing some form of Aftercare to the families they serve are short changing their families and their business.  The process of keeping in touch with your families is essential to the future of your funeral home business.  By providing an extension of your services after the funeral you remain an important member of that family's death experience and healing process. It is important to remember that this follow-up contact is not only providing a helpful service, it can also lead to future calls for prearrangements, speaking opportunities in the community, referrals to other families and much more. 

John, before we wrap this up, do you have any final thoughts?

Head: Aftercare is a tool for the funeral director that is immeasurable, both for the bereaved we serve and for the future success of our funeral business.